what hurts

i sent out a survey to my team mates which includes top five hurtful lines said to you..i was already done with the first three and as i was thinking about the last two, something just crossed my mind..

time space warp to April 14, 2007, Shangrila Plaza, Mandaluyong..

i'm meeting with lloyd to get the cd for the pictures i had when i went to baguio (ok, more specifically when he asked me to visit him at PMA)..he promised he'd send it to me but he wasn't able to so he arranged for a meeting so that he could give it to me personally..

when we met, the first thing he said was: "ba't ba nakasimangot ka na naman? sa tuwing magkikita na lang ba tayo eh nakasimangot ka?"

i was speechless.. i didn't know how to react because i also realized that i was indeed scowling, frowning (anything that's opposite a happy face)..and then i recalled all those times we met post-relationship and i'll say it again, i was indeed not projecting a pleasant face during those times..

i tried to remember why..it wasn't because he was late, or he's wearing something not pleasing to the eyes, or he changed the venue..i think it was because of the hopelessness i felt about our situation..it was like i'm hanging in a moment not defined by time..it was like everytime we see each other, im going to a place full of frustrations..

it's what i always felt..

because i'm hurt..

now, i think i really can't fill up the last two lines for the survey since i realized that i wasn't really hurt by any lines said..it was him..and the situation that made me feel hurt..

it's over now and i've moved on..i know i shouldn't think much about the past but it's not bad that i sometimes remember those things..

*for storyline, check here.